Couples Urged to Discuss Marriage After 19 Years Together

UPDATE: New advice from relationship expert Eric Thomas urges couples to engage in crucial conversations about marriage—especially after significant time together. After 19 years with no proposal, a woman expresses her frustrations and contemplates whether to take matters into her own hands.

In a recent column, Thomas addresses a reader who has been living with her boyfriend for over 16 years. With each anniversary passing without a proposal, she feels it is time to initiate a conversation about their future. Experts emphasize that open dialogue is vital in relationships, particularly regarding important topics like marriage.

Thomas recommends starting the conversation by stating, “I’d like to talk about our relationship.” This approach allows for the expression of desires while also gauging the boyfriend’s feelings about marriage. He suggests using “I” statements to communicate personal needs effectively. This proactive approach might strengthen their bond, whether they choose to marry or not.

Another letter highlights the struggles of dealing with a sibling’s fabrications and emotional turmoil. An older brother describes his frustrations with his 70-year-old sibling, who has been known to embellish stories and struggle with focus. Thomas advises the brother to practice emotional distance and respond simply with “Oh, OK,” when faced with fantastical claims. This method allows for maintaining the relationship without engaging in every story.

In a different scenario, a couple expresses concern over their daughter-in-law, Beverly, whose parents face serious health challenges. The husband worries that discussions about her parents might upset Beverly. Thomas emphasizes that the best approach is to ask Beverly directly how she prefers to handle conversations about her parents. This ensures sensitivity and allows Beverly to decide what she feels comfortable sharing.

These insights from Eric Thomas are not just practical but also timely for couples navigating long-term relationships. As the conversation around marriage evolves, those in similar situations are encouraged to speak openly about their needs and expectations.

For more relationship advice, send your questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected]. Stay updated by following him on Instagram and subscribing to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.